10 000 Followers on Instagram…

Today I hit 10 000 followers on Instagram… I seriously can’t believe it. 10 000 people that like my pictures, that are interested in my life. If you had told me a few years ago that I would hit so many followers in 2017 on Instagram, I would’ve laughed so hard. Me, 10 000 followers, what kind of crazy person thinks I would ever be able to accomplish such a thing.

When I was younger I was bullied so hard, that I sometimes didn’t know who I was anymore. I was never good enough. I was always the laughing stock in school and always the person that bullies wanted to hurt. Don’t ask me why, because trust me I don’t know. I tried not to care about these bullies and most of the time it worked out. But the bullying got so hard that I even went to the police to report two boys for stalking. (not kidding).

There has been thrown paint on my driveway, me and my parents have been called in the middle of the night just to hear a person laughing on the other end of the line, people tried to force me to show my breasts in front of the webcam on msn via groupchat, … The list goes on and on and on. After I went to the police, the active bullying stopped. But the passive (talking behind the back and never talking to my face) bullying never stopped. And then there was this thing where my ex-boyfriend wanted to take advantage of me being vulnerable after my family’s big accident. He wanted to get me to have sex with him and when I told him he had to choose between being friends or being in a relationship. He chose to ignore me for almost a whole year. I got to a point in my life where everything was just black and dark. Thanks to my best friend I got out of that dark place and my boyfriend helped me make some difficult but necessary life changing decisions. For Example : I had to change from law school to psychology and I had to leave all of my friends behind.

Basically I kinda had a hard life. My life was a mess really, but I never stopped being myself. I have already told you guys that the bullies never got to my personality. I never changed my personality to fit in, nor my style. But it did affect my self-esteem a lot. I didn’t think I was good enough for anything and I thought I was ugly and that people hated me. Thanks to my mother and my amazing boyfriend, my self-esteem got a whole lot better but it is still not what it should be.

The only positive thing about the bullies and the shit in my life is that I ended up having a I don’t give a fuck what people think attitude. Last year in January, I discovered Instagram. I really liked making pictures and sharing stuff with other people, so this seemed the perfect opportunity for me to create a new hobby. At first there weren’t many likes, but I didn’t really care about that because I just loved posting things and sharing my world with other people. Then suddenly it all exploded. I began to get a lot of followers. I didn’t know what was happening when I hit 1K. OMG 1K, what?? How are there 1000 people interested in me?? I couldn’t believe it and I was very happy when this happened. People were interested in me being just, me.

The numbers kept coming and coming and eventually there were brands that started to contact me. Brands that wanted to give me free things in return for an instagram pic? Really? What is happening??

In June I posted a few photos of me in my bikini. The first pic I posted just exploded. I got so many likes and comments. I could not believe my eyes. And then, there were girls who started contacting me. Asking me how I have so much confidence, how did I have so much courage to post a picture of me in a bikini. There were so many girls that asked me for advice on confidence etc. I didn’t believe it at first. Me… the girl who got bullied her whole life, who got to very dark places in her head. People wanted to follow me, to befriend me, to talk to me and give me things. But I do have to say that I never accept free stuff if it isn’t part of my personality or my style. I want to stay true to myself throughout everything and I think everybody should do that!

I also started a blog and a youtube account throughout the whole process because I just really love to write and I adore making videos. I didn’t make a blog to have more followers, but because I had been writing since I was little. There are some people on Instagram, who don’t even like writing but who do start a blog. I don’t know why, I think it is for the followers and to get more collaborations with brands but this has never been the goal for me. I just love sharing my point of view and my stories with the rest for the world. Not to get anything out of it but just because I love writing!

Instagram has changed my life so much in so many aspects of my life. It made me realize that I am not stupid or lame or ugly. It enhanced my confidence and self-esteem. I have made new friendships and I have discovered new parts of my personality. I also discovered that some people only start talking to you again because of your follower count and I realized who I wanted to delete from my life. Some people are just toxic and if they don’t make you feel good about yourself, just hit the delete button. Life is to short to spend time on those people.

Instagram made me realize that I love posing for photos and that I love making pictures and sharing them with people who care. I had always loved fashion and style, but thanks to Instagram I discovered whole new parts of fashion that I didn’t know existed. It made me love fashion even more. It made me start blogging and it helped me write better. It gave me the little punch in the back to start youtube, and I am getting better at it every day.

Thanks to all of you guys I realized what I wanted in life and who I wanted to be. I opened up a lot more not only to my real friends and my boyfriend, but also to myself. I re-discovered myself and this whole experience made me happier than ever. Not because I like getting followers, but just because I discovered new parts of myself that I really like.

So I just want to thank you guys, for making all of this happen. You guys make me feel better about myself every hour of the day. Thank you so so so much for all of this. I do all of this not only for you guys, but also for myself. I really appreciate all of the love that I get from all of you and I will never forget this. If I can give you guys one tip, never stop being yourself. Even if everything is dark and life isn’t treating you well. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. I guess I am the perfect example. Just never give up on your dreams guys, dreams can do come true.

Thank you!




The day that changed my life.

I thought it was time to write about this.


This day was amazing. We did an amazing safari, it started raining, but it was kinda fun. It was fun jumping around in the rain with my family. I felt really happy at that particular moment. I don’t know why, but I have this feeling of extreme happiness. Despite the fact that I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, I feel really happy. I am going to have an amazing new life now. I just graduated, I am going to university, I am going to make some new friends, I am going to find the love of my life even though I thought I already found him. But he wasn’t the one, I still have feelings for him but he isn’t good for me. He always made me cry and feel bad about myself and I just couldn’t handle it anymore. The one is still out there, at least I hope sow. I am so extremely wet from the rain. Luckily we have an experienced driver because driving in a storm like this is kinda dangerous.

The rain is hitting the car so hard, it almost sounds like little stones that are thrown at our car. And the sound of the thunder isn’t really comforting at all. But I feel very happy and nothing can destroy my happiness at this moment. I am in Sri Lanka with my family and it is only the beginning of the vacation. I haven’t felt this happy in years. My life is finally falling into place. I put on some Taylor Swift music and I fall asleep in the car.

I feel a hard clap. I don’t know what is happening to me. Everything is in slow motion and it feels like I am spinning. Everything is going so slow. Am I dreaming? What is going on? I hear the extremely painful sound of windows breaking but I don’t see anything. Only black is the color my eyes seem to see. And suddenly everything stops. Bang.  everything turns silent except for one sound. The sound of a car horn that just keeps on going. The sound is so loud that it penetrates my brain. This is the only thing my senses seem to pick up…

I am standing outside. With my feet in the river. I don’t know how I got here, I don’t seem to remember anything. I see my camera bag and heaven blue vans floating besides me on the water. My brother is standing next to me. He is hyperventilating and I see an extreme amount of blood running down his leg. I hear my father moaning in the background. I look left of me and I see my mom lying on the bank of the river. I see this look in her eyes, I have never seen it before. It looks like she has seen death. I don’t even recognize my mother for a second. When my ears finally stop making this awful peeping sound, I look up and I see it. Our mini-van. It fell of a bridge in to the river and there seems to be not a lot left of it. The sound of the horn keeps on going. My dad is walking around the wreck, crying and screaming my other brother’s name. It immediately strikes me. My brother is dead.

That is why my younger brother next to me is screaming. Without thinking for a second, I start screaming as well. There are Sri Lankan people everywhere filming everything with their phones. They aren’t helping at all, they are looking at this accident through their phones and thinking about putting it on youtube and getting loads of views. I don’t really feel anything, but an extreme sense of pain in my body. Not physical, but mental pain. After a while I try and take matters in to my own hands. When it becomes clear that my older brother is actually alive, I realise that everything is worth saving. They brought my brother to the hospital. Now it is my job to take care of my younger brother and mother, since my father went to the hospital already. There is a man, he can’t speak any english and the only thing he can say is “me get you to hospital”. We try and drag my mother of the shore. But since we fell 4 meters of a bridge, this is a very difficult task. We finally get her in to the pick-up truck. My brother is still in shock and he needs to sit in the back, in the open part of the car. I try to hold his hand through a tiny little window in the back of the car. My mother. It seems as if she could stop breathing any minute. I start telling her, that she still needs to see me get married, that she still needs to play with her grand children. But she can’t talk. I am convinced that I will go home without a mother. I start screaming to the driver that he needs to drive faster. My mother tries to say something but she can’t find the air to do so. After the longest drive of my life, we finally arrive at the hospital. They lay my mother down and they go away with her. They take my brother away from me, because he needs to be in the male section of the hospital. Everyone asks me questions. I don’t know how to answer them and finally they notice that I am also not feeling okay. At that moment, the physical pain. I feel very sick and everything is spinning. I can barely speak because of the pain in my head. It hurts when I try to open my mouth. They put me in a wheelchair and then I see my older brother. He can’t talk, and he has that same look in his eyes as my mother. I can just reach him with my hand and our hands touch for a minor second. He is taken to the intensive care and they need to operate him because he has mud in his lungs. After our paths split, I am strolled to the women section of the hospital, where I find my mother. They lay me down on my bed and I see cats and dogs walking in the corridor. I see dogs sleeping under the beds next to me. There are at least 30 women in this room, some seem to be in a lot of pain. There are all kinds of insects flying around everywhere and I don’t know where everybody is besides my mother. Nobody speaks english, my mother is in a lot of pain and I don’t know where my father is… I start hitting myself, because I just want to wake up from this nightmare. But nothing seems to work… This is for real.

I thought my happiness could not get destroyed, but I never imagined that something like this would ever happen to me. This made me see everything in perspective. I lost a lot of friends throughout the whole process of getting home. I thought that there were going to be a lot of people worried about me. But that wasn’t the case. Not even my EX-boyfriend, who I still had feelings for and with whom I was in a relationship for 8 months, didn’t really care like he should have. He even took advantage of my being fucked up when I got home. It made me realize that in the end, there are always going to be people that aren’t really there for you. I realized that life, it can be over in the blink of an eye. It can stop at any moment, and you really need to enjoy every little thing on earth as much as you can. Erase toxic people from your life, and trust only those who are real friends. There are so many things that people tend to worry about. Not getting ready for exams, your best friend doesn’t text you as much as you’d like to or your parents don’t want you to go to that party. When something like this happens to you, you realize that that doesn’t even matter. It is very hard not to worry about some of these things once in a while, hell even I have problems with that sometimes. But please try to remember that your world is probably one of the best versions of a life there is. There are people who don’t even have a father anymore, so why fight so much with your parents. There are people who don’t even have a home, so does it really matter that you can’t buy that piece of furniture you want? There are people who can’t even walk, so do you really need to be angry because you need to wake up at 7 on a Sunday morning to go to the bakery because your mother asked you to.

Life can be over any second, so why make life so complicated. Just do what you want, what you like. Don’t care about what people say behind your back, don’t care about what people think. Don’t care about if something doesn’t go the way it plans, don’t try to beat yourself up when you can’t write that paper right away. Don’t tell yourself that you are not pretty, that you need to be skinnier. Go buy that fucking hamburger instead of that salad, if that is what makes you smile.

Because at the end of the day, what matters most, is the smile on your face when you go to sleep.

My first Pressdays

This Wednesday I went to my First Pressdays ever! I was very surprised that I got invitations because I didn’t expect it at all. I’m very happy that I could be part of these events.

I went to two events that day! My first event was a Lifestylelab by Miss Publicity. I tasted a new brandy by “Rooster and Wolf” and it was very delicious. It didn’t taste very strong, but it’s actually 40 %.. So be careful ;). I also got introduced to “Ananas Gold”. These pineapple pieces are very nice and they taste very fresh although they are in cans. Then there is “Linwoods”. This brand sells packages of healthy seeds you can put in your yoghurt or smoothies. They are full of vitamines and they are a nice addition to your breakfast.


My second event was a Fashion show by MaisonPR ft. MOJO antwerp. The fashion show was located @Divani in Antwerp. When I entered the event, I was blown away. I saw cupcakes, handbags, clothes, watches and models everywhere. I had never been to such an event so I had to come out of my comfort zone in the beginning but after a few minutes I began to be myself. I got introduced to loads of new and promising brands.

First of all there was VOYA beauty.
This is a new beauty brand from Ireland based on Seaweed. You can buy things like Seaweed for in your bath (good for your skin, good against cellulite and it makes your hair very soft). You can buy skin care products and body lotion based on seaweed. Not only is it good for your hair and skin, it is also environmentally friendly and against animal cruelty. This is a very promising brand and I hope to hear more about it soon!

FOOD! There were also new brands that were very tasteful.

  1. Jimmy’s Popcorn : They have a few new and amazing flavours and they taste incredible. Some taste like cheese and some taste like caramel.
  2. Amylin’s  cupcakes and macarons : These beautiful cupcakes were to beautiful to put in your mouth. My boyfriend tasted one of them and he loved the taste of the cupcake and the topping. Only the look of the cupcakes made me smile.
  3. Bongiorno don pépé : this alcoholic drink is based on Blood orange and as some of you might know, I love blood orange. It is very delicious and you can combine this drink with tonic water or pink lemonade! It is definitely worth the try.


These are the fashion brands that got most of my attention.

  1. Add my berry : Add my berry makes very basic clothes but the clothes have very nice sentences or logos on them. It is very nice to combine with sneakers and I really love this brand. I’m definitely going to buy a hoodie from this magnificent fashion brand.
  2. Issey Miyake : I loved their handbags the most. They are very nice and futuristic. I would really like to wear one around my shoulder one day!
  3. Dexters : this is the new collection by Tanja Dexters. I really fell in love with this summer collection. It has very nice colours and the skirts and dresses are marvelous. I loved one green skirt in particular (had a dream about it last night 😉 ) This brand has much potential! It kind of reminds me of a nicer version of TUTU CHIC 🙂


After walking around and discovering these beautiful brands, the fashion show started. Here is a slide show of my favorite models/outfits.

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