Today I hit 10 000 followers on Instagram… I seriously can’t believe it. 10 000 people that like my pictures, that are interested in my life. If you had told me a few years ago that I would hit so many followers in 2017 on Instagram, I would’ve laughed so hard. Me, 10 000 followers, what kind of crazy person thinks I would ever be able to accomplish such a thing.
When I was younger I was bullied so hard, that I sometimes didn’t know who I was anymore. I was never good enough. I was always the laughing stock in school and always the person that bullies wanted to hurt. Don’t ask me why, because trust me I don’t know. I tried not to care about these bullies and most of the time it worked out. But the bullying got so hard that I even went to the police to report two boys for stalking. (not kidding).
There has been thrown paint on my driveway, me and my parents have been called in the middle of the night just to hear a person laughing on the other end of the line, people tried to force me to show my breasts in front of the webcam on msn via groupchat, … The list goes on and on and on. After I went to the police, the active bullying stopped. But the passive (talking behind the back and never talking to my face) bullying never stopped. And then there was this thing where my ex-boyfriend wanted to take advantage of me being vulnerable after my family’s big accident. He wanted to get me to have sex with him and when I told him he had to choose between being friends or being in a relationship. He chose to ignore me for almost a whole year. I got to a point in my life where everything was just black and dark. Thanks to my best friend I got out of that dark place and my boyfriend helped me make some difficult but necessary life changing decisions. For Example : I had to change from law school to psychology and I had to leave all of my friends behind.
Basically I kinda had a hard life. My life was a mess really, but I never stopped being myself. I have already told you guys that the bullies never got to my personality. I never changed my personality to fit in, nor my style. But it did affect my self-esteem a lot. I didn’t think I was good enough for anything and I thought I was ugly and that people hated me. Thanks to my mother and my amazing boyfriend, my self-esteem got a whole lot better but it is still not what it should be.
The only positive thing about the bullies and the shit in my life is that I ended up having a I don’t give a fuck what people think attitude. Last year in January, I discovered Instagram. I really liked making pictures and sharing stuff with other people, so this seemed the perfect opportunity for me to create a new hobby. At first there weren’t many likes, but I didn’t really care about that because I just loved posting things and sharing my world with other people. Then suddenly it all exploded. I began to get a lot of followers. I didn’t know what was happening when I hit 1K. OMG 1K, what?? How are there 1000 people interested in me?? I couldn’t believe it and I was very happy when this happened. People were interested in me being just, me.
The numbers kept coming and coming and eventually there were brands that started to contact me. Brands that wanted to give me free things in return for an instagram pic? Really? What is happening??
In June I posted a few photos of me in my bikini. The first pic I posted just exploded. I got so many likes and comments. I could not believe my eyes. And then, there were girls who started contacting me. Asking me how I have so much confidence, how did I have so much courage to post a picture of me in a bikini. There were so many girls that asked me for advice on confidence etc. I didn’t believe it at first. Me… the girl who got bullied her whole life, who got to very dark places in her head. People wanted to follow me, to befriend me, to talk to me and give me things. But I do have to say that I never accept free stuff if it isn’t part of my personality or my style. I want to stay true to myself throughout everything and I think everybody should do that!
I also started a blog and a youtube account throughout the whole process because I just really love to write and I adore making videos. I didn’t make a blog to have more followers, but because I had been writing since I was little. There are some people on Instagram, who don’t even like writing but who do start a blog. I don’t know why, I think it is for the followers and to get more collaborations with brands but this has never been the goal for me. I just love sharing my point of view and my stories with the rest for the world. Not to get anything out of it but just because I love writing!
Instagram has changed my life so much in so many aspects of my life. It made me realize that I am not stupid or lame or ugly. It enhanced my confidence and self-esteem. I have made new friendships and I have discovered new parts of my personality. I also discovered that some people only start talking to you again because of your follower count and I realized who I wanted to delete from my life. Some people are just toxic and if they don’t make you feel good about yourself, just hit the delete button. Life is to short to spend time on those people.
Instagram made me realize that I love posing for photos and that I love making pictures and sharing them with people who care. I had always loved fashion and style, but thanks to Instagram I discovered whole new parts of fashion that I didn’t know existed. It made me love fashion even more. It made me start blogging and it helped me write better. It gave me the little punch in the back to start youtube, and I am getting better at it every day.
Thanks to all of you guys I realized what I wanted in life and who I wanted to be. I opened up a lot more not only to my real friends and my boyfriend, but also to myself. I re-discovered myself and this whole experience made me happier than ever. Not because I like getting followers, but just because I discovered new parts of myself that I really like.
So I just want to thank you guys, for making all of this happen. You guys make me feel better about myself every hour of the day. Thank you so so so much for all of this. I do all of this not only for you guys, but also for myself. I really appreciate all of the love that I get from all of you and I will never forget this. If I can give you guys one tip, never stop being yourself. Even if everything is dark and life isn’t treating you well. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. I guess I am the perfect example. Just never give up on your dreams guys, dreams can do come true.