I want to say something. I have the feeling that I have been letting myself down a little bit. I am a little lazy and I don’t have a lot of inspiration lately because of the fact that I overthink a lot of things and there is no place left in my brain to generate new ideas. This is resulting in the fact that I have been neglecting my blog and youtube account. I really love writing and expressing myself through writing and filming. Sometimes I don’t even get a hold of myself because of the mere fact that I have too many ideas. This isn’t the case lately. I really want to push myself to write more and make more creative material not only because it is my passion but because it makes me happier. It is kind of a vicious circle. I am to lazy to write, so I don’t write resulting in the fact that I get less happy and motivated resulting in the fact that I still. Don’t. Write. And not only this but the fact that I am really insecure about my writing ability and talent to entertain people stops me from doing what I love. I am really insecure about what I am good at or not good at. I never think anything is good enough to post and I never want to post things that aren’t perfect. I always want my ideas to be very original and cool, and I don’t want to share things that aren’t original or perfect. I am just a difficult person I guess (ask my friends and former friends haha). Normally I don’t really care about what other people think of what I do or what I say, but in this case it’s different. Writing makes you vulnerable in a way that you sometimes express feelings and emotions that you are to scared to share with the world. And I know that I don’t always have to write about heavy things, and I also like writing about more light stuff, but I do like to write about it. It is a way to express my feelings and I have done it my whole life. The only difference with when I was younger is that I now share my writing with you guys. I know that you will never judge me by what I write in my blogposts and that you will never gossip about it (and I don’t care about people gossiping), but it’s just harder to write knowing that people are going to read it. I also know that I don’t HAVE to post everything but I like sharing my life with the world. I always have, that is part of the reason that I was bullied. So sometimes writing a blogpost gives me mixed feelings.
But I realize now that I need to put everything aside. I love writing and I love sharing. That’s all. I need to stop overthinking things and just go with the flow, so that is exactly what I am going to do. You guys are going to hear a lot more of me. I am going to sometimes write a smaller blogpost just about what I did that day, what I wore that week or what I made myself for dinner that week. But don’t worry, I will never stop talking about the more serious things in life because I am of the opinion that someone has to write about them and I really like helping people. And I hope that me sharing my experiences in life sometimes helps you feel better or makes you change things in your life.
Sorry for the lack of creativity and posts. I promise you it will change!
See you very soon!